Two Times the Trouble
by queenarlayna
Summary: Cullen and Evie have been blessed with twins with a knack of being cheeky when their father is asleep. Post-Trespasser. Lots of fluff. Oneshot.


Peaceful nights unmarred by demons in his head are a rarity. Although curling into Evelyn warmed his heart and body, there were countless times he had been ripped from a nightmare by her sweet whispers in his ear, calling him to come back and find comfort in her embrace. Tonight he was wide awake, running light strokes along her bare back, twisting her loose curls around his index. When awake, she was silver-tongued and as fierce as her red hair. But when she was asleep she moulded into the grooves of his body, so soft and lovely he almost couldn't believe she existed. He nuzzled her neck, breathing her in. He sighed, content. She was incredible.

There was a slight tug at the edge of the bed, the blankets shifting over his torso. He rolled over and found bright green eyes and a mop of blonde curls. Her bottom lip was trembling and her hands reached for him.

'Papa, there's something in our room.'

He helped her climb onto the bed. 'Is Lily still asleep?'

Amelia nodded. Cullen gave her forehead a gentle kiss and told her to stay in the bed while he checked on Lily. Careful not to knock over any of the stacks of books scattered around the bedroom, he made his way down the short hall and into the girls' room. Josephine had been brilliant in finding a house for them, one with a couple of extra rooms for 'mini Cully Wullys and Evies' as Sera had put it.

The girls shared a double bed with floral blankets and pillow cases, one of the many gifts they'd received when Evelyn had announced she was with not one child, but two. The other half of the twins slept soundly on her side of the bed, her braided red hair, a brighter red than her mother's, resting over her shoulder. Cullen tiptoed to the bed and checked under the bed – nothing. He checked the wardrobe and behind the mirror – still nothing. Amelia had imagined it: a common occurrence. Despite this, he never hesitated to validate her fears. Lily had, thankfully, not stirred during Cullen's investigation. His bed can no longer house the four of them comfortably.

For a long moment, he watched his daughter sleep. To think it was almost five years since she had blessed his world. She took after her mother, and he wondered what Evelyn had been like as a child. She wasn't open about her childhood as he was and he was okay with that; he was patient and even if she never told him, it wouldn't change the love he had for her. Children had never crossed his mind. When Evelyn had brought into the world Lily and Amelia he remembered being in shock as he held Lily in his arms and thinking: She's mine. They're mine. They're so tiny and soft. How? So gentle and light. I don't deserve this.

'You do deserve this, Cullen,' Evelyn had said, staring him down from the bed, a baby bundled in her arms. She'd looked down and closed her eyes, bringing Amelia's face to her lips. 'We both do.'

Remembering the way Lily had fit in his arms, he smiled, a phantom warmth passing through his limbs. With a full heart he kissed Lily's cheek, careful not to scratch her with his stubble. Being fresh-faced wasn't as much of a priority since the days of the Inquisition when attending balls and honouring noble ladies, some of whom had no sense of personal space, were a necessity.

Besides, it was useful in tickling competitions.

Back in his bedroom, he caught his wife and other child wrapped in an embrace, touched by soft moonlight. Sometimes he thought this was a dream, the best dream he has ever had. If it was, he never wanted to wake up. He could stare at them for hours. What did he do to deserve them?

Thank you, Maker. Thank you for giving me hope again.

Cullen woke to an empty bed and grumbling stomach. A dull throb echoed through his forehead. He rolled out of bed and opened the curtains. The sun was high and glowed behind stormy clouds. It would do the land good for some rain. The cows and goats were starting to run out of green pasture to graze. Deciding his stomach might eat him alive, he strode into the kitchen. Evelyn had put a plate for him on the table with two slices of the bread they made yesterday layered with a sweet berry jam Leliana had given them. Lily and Amelia were seated at the table, licking the jam from their fingers.

'Good morning, Papa!' they said in unison.

'Good morning, darlings,' he said, giving them each a kiss on their head. He picked up one of his slices of bread and wolfed it down, settling his stomach.

Amelia's eyes were wide when she said, 'Don't eat too fast, Papa, or you'll be sick.'

'And who told you that?' he inquired, finishing off the other slice.

Amelia crossed her arms and brought her brows together, her mouth in a firm pout. 'Mama said so.'

Speaking of which, she was not in the kitchen. 'Where did she go?' he asked the girls.

Lily responded, 'She said she was going to get things ready for the ball.'

Maker's breath, that's tonight? The throbbing in his head suddenly grew louder.

Leaving the girls with some cards to play with, he made his way to the spare room, the last door down the hall to the right. He found the door open and pieces of clothing littering the floor. Evelyn was bent over long wooden chest, tossing articles over her shoulder with a frustrated grunt. 'Nope, nope, nope…' she muttered. The curve of her backside distracted him for a moment.

Cullen leaned on the doorframe, amused. 'Need any help, love?'

'Nope, I can do this.'

He walked to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and a kiss on her hair. 'Which one are you looking for?'

She frowned up at him, her green eyes burning like the colour of the rifts she'd closed all those years ago. 'The gold one with the crystals that Cass and Josie had made for me,' she nudged him with her elbow, smirking. 'You know, the one you were so eager to rip off me.'

'I think I've wanted to do that with all your dresses,' he chuckled. He leaned down and kissed her, both laughing between kisses at memories they'd never forget. Once apart, Cullen reached for the chest adjacent to the one Evelyn had ransacked and pulled out the gold gown.

Evelyn gaped. 'You bastard, you knew it was there?'

He smirked, thinking about the way this particular dress hugged his wife's body, the low neckline teasing him with valleys of creamy skin he has had the pleasure of exploring countless times. 'I know where everything is, love.'

She snatched the dress from him and draped it over her stump. 'If that's the case, dear husband, have you seen my lipstick and rouge? It's not in my drawers and I need them for tonight.'

'Well… that I don't know,' Cullen fiddled with the hem of the dress. 'Am I going tonight as well? What are we going to do about the girls?'

'Varric has agreed to babysit for us.'

Cullen frowned, annoyed at the idea of the dwarf babysitting his girls. He was too short to reach most of the emergency supplies and carrying that crossbow would only encourage the girls. Cullen didn't want them to know about all that, not just yet.

'Can you tell him not to bring Bianca?'

'What would he use to protect them if someone or something decides to pay a visit while we're gone?' Her hand was on her hip – a challenge he felt he was losing.

With a sigh of acceptance, he took his leave to their bedroom and found solace the first book he picked up from his nightstand.

'He's so handsome!'

'Shhhhh!'

Shuffled blankets. Groaning floorboards. Muffled giggles fading down the hall.

Cullen opened his eyes to a setting sun bleeding over the horizon and the book he'd started lying on his chest. The headache was gone. How long had he been asleep for?

He heard Evelyn yell from the kitchen, 'Cullen! You have twenty minutes to get ready!'

Heavy footsteps entered the room, followed by a roar of laughter. Cullen jerked up, his face pulled into a grimace. Varric stood at the door, his eyes gleaming with tears as he struggled to contain his mirth.

'What's so damn funny?' Cullen demanded.

'Evie! Curly has a surprise for you!'

What in Andraste's name is he on about?

Evelyn appeared at the door and his mouth dropped. She was radiant, the gold gown bringing out her emerald eyes. The last of the sun caught the crystals on her gown, sending drops of diamond fire around in the room. Her red hair glowed, falling in loose curls over her shoulders and breasts, decorated with small gold stars. He was lucky, so damn lucky to have this woman by his side.

Her smile became peals of laughter as she took the sight of him in. 'So that's where my makeup disappeared to.'

Makeup?

'Oh Curly, you look divine!'

He rubbed his face and his fingers came away with a shimmering pink powder. He leapt off the bed and into the bathroom. He yelped at his reflection. earning a louder chorus of laughter outside. His face was covered in Evelyn's rouge, his eyelashes darker and longer, and his lips stained red with an awkward hand's precision. He took a deep breath and let out a soft chuckle.

Returning to the bedroom, he found the culprits giggling behind their mother, hoping the folds of the gown would hide them from him.

Those girls were in so much trouble.


End file.
